This is the eulogy I delivered at his funeral. I was a bit concerned about being able to do the eulogy when I was so upset, but it was something I felt I had to do to honor his memory. I wrote this in the few days between his death and his funeral. I feel like God or my dad almost helped me write it because the words for this simply popped into my head at odd times when I wasn't even working on it. One morning I woke up knowing exactly what to say in the last paragraph. So, I can't take credit for this entirely. I give credit to God for granting me the words to properly eulogize my father.
My father's eulogy:
Over the past few days I’ve spoken to many friends and family about my dad. Many people shared their memories of him and told me how they felt about him. Several words were used over and over to describe him- Kind, Loving, and Amazing. These words certainly describe my father.
My father endured so much in his life and he did it with such grace. I don’t think I ever heard him complain. So many things he loved were taken from him. As a young man, my father loved the outdoors and enjoyed spending time hiking and camping. As a child he enjoyed playing in the woods that are now part of Bellarmine University’s campus. He raised rabbits and pigeons in his backyard. As a young man, he volunteered as a Scoutmaster. He had a boat and loved to play on the river. He had a convertible and he loved to drive. After he lost his sight, he was unable to do any of those things. When I was a child, Dad developed a skin condition that made him extremely sun sensitive. He couldn’t even walk to the end of our driveway in the sun without becoming sunburned. He seemed to have a constant sunburn. This prevented him from spending time with me outdoors during the day even though I know he really wanted to. Despite suffering almost constantly from itchy and painful skin, he always maintained an even temper and was a patient father.
Many people would have been discouraged by these crosses that he had to bear. These trials may have caused others to lose their faith in God. My father, however, never let these things stand in his way and he NEVER lost his strong Catholic faith. My father chose to make the best of bad situations, he chose to look on the bright side, and he chose to turn to God in prayer when his burdens seemed too great.
He also had a great sense of humor and handled so many difficulties with a laugh and a smile. When I was a kid, my friends were always a bit fascinated or perplexed by my parents’ blindness. One particular friend used to try to peek around his glasses to see his eyes and she asked him one time if he was really blind. Dad responded, “No, I’m a CIA agent and I’m here to check up on the FBI agent who lives next door.” I think she believed him for a few years!
It was often hard to believe he was blind. Rather than saying he couldn’t do something because of his blindness, he simply figured out a creative solution that would allow him to do what he wanted. A perfect example of this is the way my father finished the basement in the house where I grew up, the house right next to this church. He framed walls, put up paneling, hung doors, and wired lights. He asked for help from me only to tell him the colors of the wires so he could properly wire the lights. I certainly can’t imagine doing those types of things in total darkness! Many carpentry tools are made for sighted people. Well… let’s face it, really ALL carpentry tools are made for sighted people! Instead of being discouraged by that fact, Dad made up his own tools to help him to make sure the walls were square and level. He took pride in doing a good job, but he was never one to brag or show off what he did. I was thinking yesterday that I don’t think I ever heard my father tell anyone about how he finished the basement unless that person specifically asked him about it. My mother and I always liked to brag on him, but, whenever we did, he almost seemed embarrassed. He was humble.
He was also such a kind and loving person. He was such a warm, caring, and loving husband to my mother and father to me. He was a loving grandfather to my children. Everyone who knew him could feel his kind and loving nature. One of his greatest joys was when he could give back to younger generations through mentoring and teaching. When he was in his 30’s he wasn’t sure he’d ever get married or have children of his own. He chose to volunteer as a Scoutmaster. He regularly took a group of Boy Scouts camping. He told me once that it was often very difficult to find even one of the fathers to go with them on those trips and he was always surprised by that. He told me how he served as a father figure to some of the boys in the troop whose own fathers were absent or uninvolved.
He also loved his nieces and nephews. My cousin, Kevin, told me a few days ago how my father inspired him to study engineering. My father showed him how he did his work as a draftsman and, after my father’s sight declined and he realized he’d no longer be able to use the tools of his trade, he passed those things on to Kevin. He was so proud of the many accomplishments of his nieces and nephews.
My father was a great man. I feel so blessed to have had such a wonderful, kind, loving, and inspiring father. Planning how to memorialize him and do justice to his memory has been difficult. The first reading that I chose for today is an unusual reading for funerals. It is one from 1st Corinthians that is more often used at weddings. It ends with “Faith, Hope and Love remain and the greatest of these is love.” These are the gifts my father left for me and for all of us. He always demonstrated strong faith and taught me to be strong in my faith. He left me with great hope that he is now united with God and we will all see him again in Heaven. And our love for him will always remain and I believe he is in Heaven now sending his love to all of us. What more can any of us hope for than to pass on to Eternal Life, loved by those around us and held in the loving hand of God?
