Outsourcing our children's education

I wrote this post in February of 2015 when we first decided to homeschool our kids.  It helps to explain some of the reasons why we decided to homeschool...  

I was discussing the pros and cons of homeschooling with my husband who is a manager in a corporate environment.  He pointed out that most people have outsourced their children’s education and, as a result, they feel like it is taken care of and no longer really their responsibility.  I think this analogy makes a lot of sense.

Don’t get me wrong, I think many, if not most, parents are very interested in their children’s education and they try to be involved as much as possible.  I was interested in my daughter’s education too.  I’ve found, though, that most schools do not encourage this involvement.  I usually didn’t even know what my daughter was studying in school until graded papers or homework assignments were sent home.  I was invited to class parties or to read to the class, but parents were never invited to help teach or to sit in on classes to see what and how the kids were learning.  Homework assignments were sent home, but my daughter's school either did not send home directions at all (and expected 6 and 7 year olds to remember the directions) or the directions were unclear.  I often felt like the methods I used to teach her those concepts were different from what was being taught in school.  On more than one occasion, I helped my daughter complete a homework assignment only to have the paper sent back for revisions because it wasn’t completed the way the teacher wanted (even though the answers were all correct).  I didn't feel like a partner in her education at all.  In fact, I felt frustrated at my attempts to help out and become involved.

Part of the problem is our mindset and the mindset of teachers and schools.  This outsourcing mindset is not only accepted, it is encouraged by schools and teachers, although that may be unintentional.  When my children were young and not enrolled in school, I worked with them daily to help them learn their alphabet and shapes, I read to them regularly, and I tried to make everything a learning opportunity.  I was their primary teacher and I took the job very seriously.  Once they were enrolled in school, I tried to become involved at their school.  I joined the PTA only to find that they were mostly concerned with fundraising for the school.  I regularly checked the school and the teacher’s web pages only to find that they didn’t really have much information about what the kids were actually doing or learning in school.  If I acted too concerned or interested I was either seen as a “helicopter parent” or the teacher seemed to think I was questioning her ability to teach.  It appeared that I was supposed to blindly send them to school and allow the teacher to do “her job” of educating my children while I simply paid tuition, asked them what they did each day, and helped with homework assignments.  I had outsourced their education.  It was no longer my job to educate my children.  Even on weekends or during the summer, I was mostly expected to just have fun with them or keep them occupied/entertained. I still read to them daily and tried to engage them in educational activities, but I always had the feeling that I didn't have to worry too much because they'd learn most of what they needed to learn at school.  My teaching was just extra.  

This idea of outsourcing our children’s education does a disservice to both children and parents.  Parents know their children better than any teacher could.  Parents care more about their children than any teacher does.  Parents can also provide more one-on-one attention to their children than a teacher can.  Parents are able to teach concepts more thoroughly and they are able to individualize their approach to the needs of their child.  If parents were seen as partners with teachers, this could greatly benefit children.  

The kind of teaching a parent can do is often more meaningful than what can be offered in a classroom setting.  What if homework weren’t just extra work or busy work to be done at home, but rather concepts for the parents to reinforce through real world experiences?  Parents could reinforce basic math skills by taking a child shopping and talking about how much money they have to spend and how much things cost.  They could reinforce fractions by cooking with a child and showing them how to measure ingredients or slice up a pie.  The possibilities are endless and wouldn’t have to involve sitting with a child and forcing them to do onerous worksheets each night.  

I realize that many parents must work long hours simply to make ends meet and they may have limited time.  What I am proposing would actually help these parents, however.  Instead of having to take time out to sit with a child and attempt to help them with homework pages, the teachers could, instead, ask parents to have children help with household activities such as shopping, cooking, etc.  They could be given instructions on how to turn those activities into learning time.  

I think most people and, especially, most children learn better through experiences.  Homework should not just be more of the same type of work that was done in school.  Homework could be an opportunity for children to experience what they're learning in a hands-on way with the guidance of their parents.  It could be an opportunity to involve parents and give them a window into their child's learning in a fun way.  Homework could actually improve and build the parent-child relationship rather than undermine it by forcing parents to become task masters for boring and repetitive busy work.  

I have chosen to homeschool my children partly because of my philosophical differences with the way they are taught in school.  I believe there are ways that traditional education could be greatly improved, however.  Making homework more interesting and hands-on could go a long way to improving things for children and their parents.