One year down!

Last week we completed our required number of instructional days for homeschooling.  We started at the beginning of last summer and took several breaks throughout the year so we're finishing our school year about 2 months ahead of the local schools.  I don't plan on stopping the learning, but I will probably be a bit more relaxed about it for the next couple of months since I don't have to stress over fitting in the required days before the end of the year.  It is a good feeling.

Now that I have one year of homeschooling under my belt, I can reflect on what I've learned.  I've learned a lot- maybe even more than the kids did!

1)   I learned that it's OK to change course and adapt as needed.  I started the year nervous and I decided to buy a boxed curriculum to guide me.  I bought one called BookShark- the secular version of Sonlight, a respected curriculum that's been around for quite a while.  It is a great program that provides a lot of guidance.  Each week it outlined exactly what we should do for each subject- books to read, science experiments to conduct, worksheets to complete.  It made me feel safe and secure.  That was great for exactly 7 weeks.

Then, at week 7 we were supposed to read a book that the kids really didn't like.  I really didn't like it.  So, I picked out another classic children's book to read instead.  This, then, impacted the worksheets and some of the other assignments we were supposed to do, so I changed those.  I also decided that I didn't like the assigned history book, so I picked something else.  The writing assignments were boring to my daughter, so I changed that to something she found more interesting.  Soon, I found I wasn't really following the BookShark program at all.  I was using the subjects and the amount of material to complete each day as a guide, but that was about it.  I kept thinking we'd return to following BookShark eventually, but we never did.

BookShark is a great program and it's perfect for anyone who wants to be told what to do and needs some guidance in homeschooling their kids.  I definitely needed that in the beginning.  Eventually, though, it became too restrictive for us.  One of the huge benefits of homeschooling is the ability to tailor the curriculum to your child's ability and interests.  If you use a boxed curriculum and follow it exactly, you lose that ability to a great extent.

2)  Homeschooling does not need to look like school.  In fact, it's usually better when it doesn't.  Just because it doesn't look like school, doesn't mean it's not educational.  When we first started the year, I thought school days had to look like, well, school.  I set up a classroom in our house with desks, a whiteboard, a map of the world, etc.  Soon, though, we were taking nature hikes and I realized the kids were learning more on those hikes by observing bugs, plants, and animals (and sometimes looking them up on my phone to get more information) than they were learning sitting in our classroom reading a science book.  I even started to see learning taking place while they were playing video games or Minecraft.  My 5 year old son started to learn fractions while playing Pikmin 3 on the Wii U.  My 7 year old daughter greatly improved her spelling, reading, and typing skills playing Minecraft with other kids through GamED Academy.  She also took some courses through GamED where she'd do a weekly learn and then a related build activity.  The build activities helped to really cement what she'd learned.  Minecraft, I discovered, can be a great tool for learning.

3)  The relationship is more important than the lesson.  Or, maybe the relationship is the lesson some days.  What I mean is that sometimes we hit a brick wall.  My kids couldn't sit still, didn't feel like learning what I had planned, or they just struggled to complete an assignment.  At first, I felt like I had to force them to sit still, pay attention, and learn.  After all, in regular school they'd have to do that, wouldn't they?  I quickly learned that I could force them to sort of sit still and be quiet, but you can't really force someone to pay attention or to learn.  Some days, it just wasn't worth the fight.  It wasn't worth hurting our relationship.  Some days it made sense to focus more on our relationship and doing things we enjoyed doing together.  Usually, if I let go of a difficult subject and returned to it in a few hours or the next day, things went much better.  Some days, my kids just weren't in the mood to concentrate on math and that was ok.  Some may disagree and say that, as adults, we have to learn to do onerous work even when we're not in the mood.  I agree.  As adults, however, we do those onerous tasks because we see the ultimate value in doing them (even if that's just that we get to keep our job).  Kids don't have that same type of view of the long-term reward.  It is a lesson they'll learn over time, but elementary age is not the time.  Learning happens much faster and is much more joyful when kids are in the right frame of mind to accomplish it.

4)  I don't want to do this alone.  Maybe I could do this alone, but I can definitely do it better with others.  This year, I've joined several different homeschool groups in the area.  We've participated in group field trips, playdates, and various homeschool classes.  It is more fun for all of us to share these activities.  Next year, I'm going to enroll them in a cottage school one day a week.  A cottage school is a non-accredited school where homeschooled kids can take classes to enrich and supplement what they are doing at home.  So, one day a week my kids will take classes in art, literature, Spanish, and science.  One day a week, I'll have some free time to run errands without kids, go to appointments for myself, etc.  I think they'll enjoy the time with other kids and I'll enjoy a little time alone.

5)  This is a journey.  I don't know exactly where it will lead.  I'm taking it one year and one day at a time.  For now, homeschooling is working for us.  My kids love it, I'm enjoying it.  I had them tested by a friend who teaches in the graduate school of education at a local university and she said they are thriving.  They're both above grade level in reading and math.  It is a good fit for them.  People often ask me how long I'm going to homeschool or if we'll homeschool through high school.  I don't know.  I'm going to take it one year at a time.  If it keeps working for our family, we'll continue.  If it doesn't, we'll explore other options.

Get Out of the Way

We've been taking a break from homeschooling the past few weeks for the holidays.  We have been following a year-round schedule, so we have the luxury of an extended winter break.  It seemed we all needed a break from routine and from set curriculum for a little while.  We haven't taken a break from learning, though.

I am always amazed at how much my children learn and how easily they learn it when I stop trying so hard.  Since the beginning of this school year, I had been working with them on place value, multi-digit addition, and telling time.  We had made progress, but I didn't feel like they were really getting it yet.  Then, last week, my 7-year-old daughter woke up one morning, pointed at the clock and informed me that it was 7:35.  A couple of days later, my 5-year-old son pointed at the clock and told me that it was 2 something, but he wasn't quite sure how to tell the rest of it because he "couldn't see the little number where the big hand was pointing".  It wasn't perfect, but he got the concept.  Last night, after a day where I allowed them to play way too long on their new video gaming system that they got for Christmas, my daughter sat down to "draw" and, much to my surprise, decided to do math problems instead.  She started adding 100+100 and 100+100+100+100 and then she tried 1000 + 100.  She needed a little help with that, but quickly understood once I explained to her how to do that.

This isn't earth-shattering in many ways.  This is not advanced level work for a 7 year old or really even for a 5 year old.  What amazes me is that I've been trying to teach them these concepts off and on for months.  They weren't quite catching on and weren't really interested.  Place value work sheets were boring.  Quizzing them on times written on paper clocks didn't hold their interest.  Give them a break, stop trying to teach them, though, and, all of a sudden, this stuff is fun!  Last May, after a year of school where she was forced to do endless worksheets for math, my daughter didn't exactly hate math, but she wasn't too fond of it.   Last week she started doing math problems out loud in the car, asking me to check her answers.   She has even commented a few times lately about how fun math is!

My daughter has also been very interested lately in geography and time zones.  I regularly have to pull out the world map and show her where various countries are located.  I often have to Google what time it is in various places around the world to satisfy her curiosity.  I daresay if I had planned a lesson on this and forced her to sit and learn about this topic, she would have been bored to tears.

So, where am I going with this?  I continue to learn more every day as I observe my kids and continue on our journey of homeschooling.  One thing I'm learning is that kids learn so much more and so much more easily when we let them lead to a certain extent.  Kids, my kids at least, learn best when they are allowed to follow their curiosity with parents or teachers to serve as advisors or tutors when needed.  It is much harder as a parent-educator to give them that freedom.  I worry and stress a bit when we deviate from the set curriculum I had planned out or when we diverge from what their peers in school are learning.  One of the things I'm learning, though, is that they seem to get to it all eventually without my prodding or forcing them to learn certain things.  I certainly never thought my daughter would CHOOSE to learn multiple digit addition!

There are a few things I truly hope will result from our homeschool experience.  One of those things is that my kids will grow to love learning and that learning will be something they will want to pursue and will know how to pursue on their own.  I am starting to realize that the best way to bring that hope to fruition is for me to get out of their way as much as possible.  When they express an interest or curiosity, I will help them find a way to find answers and I will show them how to research it and learn more.  So, in 2016 I resolve to cooperate in their learning more and attempt to force learning less.  I will pay more attention to their interests and curiosity and less attention to what they're "supposed" to be learning.  I think we'll all enjoy the journey more that way.

Outsourcing our children's education

I wrote this post in February of 2015 when we first decided to homeschool our kids.  It helps to explain some of the reasons why we decided to homeschool...  

I was discussing the pros and cons of homeschooling with my husband who is a manager in a corporate environment.  He pointed out that most people have outsourced their children’s education and, as a result, they feel like it is taken care of and no longer really their responsibility.  I think this analogy makes a lot of sense.

Don’t get me wrong, I think many, if not most, parents are very interested in their children’s education and they try to be involved as much as possible.  I was interested in my daughter’s education too.  I’ve found, though, that most schools do not encourage this involvement.  I usually didn’t even know what my daughter was studying in school until graded papers or homework assignments were sent home.  I was invited to class parties or to read to the class, but parents were never invited to help teach or to sit in on classes to see what and how the kids were learning.  Homework assignments were sent home, but my daughter's school either did not send home directions at all (and expected 6 and 7 year olds to remember the directions) or the directions were unclear.  I often felt like the methods I used to teach her those concepts were different from what was being taught in school.  On more than one occasion, I helped my daughter complete a homework assignment only to have the paper sent back for revisions because it wasn’t completed the way the teacher wanted (even though the answers were all correct).  I didn't feel like a partner in her education at all.  In fact, I felt frustrated at my attempts to help out and become involved.

Part of the problem is our mindset and the mindset of teachers and schools.  This outsourcing mindset is not only accepted, it is encouraged by schools and teachers, although that may be unintentional.  When my children were young and not enrolled in school, I worked with them daily to help them learn their alphabet and shapes, I read to them regularly, and I tried to make everything a learning opportunity.  I was their primary teacher and I took the job very seriously.  Once they were enrolled in school, I tried to become involved at their school.  I joined the PTA only to find that they were mostly concerned with fundraising for the school.  I regularly checked the school and the teacher’s web pages only to find that they didn’t really have much information about what the kids were actually doing or learning in school.  If I acted too concerned or interested I was either seen as a “helicopter parent” or the teacher seemed to think I was questioning her ability to teach.  It appeared that I was supposed to blindly send them to school and allow the teacher to do “her job” of educating my children while I simply paid tuition, asked them what they did each day, and helped with homework assignments.  I had outsourced their education.  It was no longer my job to educate my children.  Even on weekends or during the summer, I was mostly expected to just have fun with them or keep them occupied/entertained. I still read to them daily and tried to engage them in educational activities, but I always had the feeling that I didn't have to worry too much because they'd learn most of what they needed to learn at school.  My teaching was just extra.  

This idea of outsourcing our children’s education does a disservice to both children and parents.  Parents know their children better than any teacher could.  Parents care more about their children than any teacher does.  Parents can also provide more one-on-one attention to their children than a teacher can.  Parents are able to teach concepts more thoroughly and they are able to individualize their approach to the needs of their child.  If parents were seen as partners with teachers, this could greatly benefit children.  

The kind of teaching a parent can do is often more meaningful than what can be offered in a classroom setting.  What if homework weren’t just extra work or busy work to be done at home, but rather concepts for the parents to reinforce through real world experiences?  Parents could reinforce basic math skills by taking a child shopping and talking about how much money they have to spend and how much things cost.  They could reinforce fractions by cooking with a child and showing them how to measure ingredients or slice up a pie.  The possibilities are endless and wouldn’t have to involve sitting with a child and forcing them to do onerous worksheets each night.  

I realize that many parents must work long hours simply to make ends meet and they may have limited time.  What I am proposing would actually help these parents, however.  Instead of having to take time out to sit with a child and attempt to help them with homework pages, the teachers could, instead, ask parents to have children help with household activities such as shopping, cooking, etc.  They could be given instructions on how to turn those activities into learning time.  

I think most people and, especially, most children learn better through experiences.  Homework should not just be more of the same type of work that was done in school.  Homework could be an opportunity for children to experience what they're learning in a hands-on way with the guidance of their parents.  It could be an opportunity to involve parents and give them a window into their child's learning in a fun way.  Homework could actually improve and build the parent-child relationship rather than undermine it by forcing parents to become task masters for boring and repetitive busy work.  

I have chosen to homeschool my children partly because of my philosophical differences with the way they are taught in school.  I believe there are ways that traditional education could be greatly improved, however.  Making homework more interesting and hands-on could go a long way to improving things for children and their parents.