One comment I hear quite often after telling people that I homeschool my two children is "I could never homeschool my kids!" This is usually followed by comments about how they lack patience and would "kill" their children if they tried homeschooling. Sometimes this is also followed by comments about how they wouldn't know how to homeschool or they aren't qualified to homeschool.
I completely understand that many people do not feel that homeschooling is the right decision for their family. I think the wonderful thing is that everyone is able to choose for themselves what they feel is best for their child and their family. Don't, however, say that you can't homeschool. It just isn't true.
All parents are homeschoolers. When our children are young, we encourage their first words, we read to them, we hold their hand as they take their first toddling steps. We point out things in the world around us. We have conversations with them. For some reason, though, once a child reaches 5 or 6, we suddenly come to believe that we are no longer qualified to teach them. That task becomes the purview of certified teachers. We ignore the fact that these teachers don't really know our children, that we are often unhappy with how our children are taught in school, that the teacher is responsible for teaching 20+ children, and that our children are only in school for about 6 hours per day (much of which is spent lining up, dealing with discipline issues, etc.). We have been told that school age children should be taught in a school and that only uniquely qualified people can teach.
In college, professors are not required to have any training in teaching. They are highly educated in their fields, but they have no training in educating others. As a result, some college professors are wonderful teachers and others are not. In my experience, I found that the ones who were the best were the ones who were truly interested in their students and took the time to really get to know them as people and then made the material relevant to them. Isn't that something that parents inherently do? Why is it that we don't think college professors need any training in education while elementary teachers do? Why is it that many believe that parents aren't as qualified as a college professor to teach? Parents usually know and understand their children better than anyone else does. They are uniquely qualified to teach in a way that is meaningful and memorable for their children.
Others have told me that they wouldn't know how to teach or what material to cover. This was one of my concerns when I first started homeschooling. I addressed this by purchasing a boxed curriculum package. I used a curriculum called BookShark. I ordered it online and the large box arrived at my door a week later. It included all of the required books and, best of all, a binder containing a day-by-day schedule of exactly what books to read and material to cover. All I had to do was follow their plan and check off what we completed. I knew, if we covered the prescribed material, we would have covered everything that my children would have covered in school that year. I ended up branching off from BookShark and tailoring my own curriculum after a couple of months, but that's another topic for another post. If you're nervous about covering what is necessary to keep your child on grade level, you can simply buy a curriculum and follow it.
Another concern that I hear even more often is that parents don't believe they are patient enough to homeschool their children. I'm here to tell you that I am not a very patient person and I have managed to homeschool my children for the last year without incident. Sure, some days they have tried my patience and I have yelled a bit. I feel bad about that, but I'm pretty certain I did no irreparable harm. Homeschooling has been a wonderful voyage of self-discovery for me. I have learned how to deal with frustration and how to look at the long-range view. I have learned that, if they are restless, unmotivated, and distracted, we can usually take a break and they will focus better later. I have learned that flexibility is key and I need to let go of some of my control-freak nature.
I've also learned that one reason parents have such a hard time believing that they could survive homeschooling is that they are currently only with their children after school, on weekends, and during the summer. After school, most children are at their worst. They have been confined all day and forced to sit still and focus on boring material for most of the day. They have been somewhat stressed and bored all day. After school, they can finally relax and cut loose. If, they've finished their homework, that is. That is why homework becomes such a battle. My daughter was certainly DONE with school work by the time she came home each day last year. She didn't want to deal with even 30 minutes more sitting still and doing work. I couldn't blame her.
The struggle you face getting your child to do homework is nothing like homeschooling. Homework must be done in the evening when a child has already been sitting still and focusing all day at school. Homework is the obstacle keeping them from relaxing and unwinding at the end of the day. Most homework is or feels like busy work rather than meaningful learning. I also found that homework was often confusing even to me. The directions were often unclear and, since I wasn't the teacher, I didn't know what to tell my daughter to do. When you are the teacher, you get to decide how the assignments will be completed. You also get to decide when your child has done enough and you don't have to force them to complete 30 practice math problems because some of the 25 children in her class need extra practice.
Weekends and summer are another time when non-homeschooling parents are with their children and are sometimes at their wits end. Again, this does not reflect how homeschooling would be. Weekends and summers tend to be unstructured free time. Personally, I've found that we do much better when there is some structure to our days. We need a daily plan. Left to figure it out for themselves, my children usually either spend too much time in front of screens, making me feel guilty, or they endlessly bug me to tell them how to amuse themselves. When we homeschool, we have a daily plan. They have certain tasks to complete each day and I usually have some time built in when I can get things done on my own while they are otherwise occupied. We have time when I am totally focused on them so that, later, they are usually happy to have some time to themselves.
Homeschooling isn't always easy, but it isn't as hard as you might think. I am not an overly patient person. I am not specially trained in education. I am, like nearly all parents, just passionate about ensuring that each of my children has the best childhood and the best educational experience possible. For me, the best way to do that for my children is through homeschooling. Others might feel that the best way to do that is to send their children to school. Either is a fine choice. Just don't tell me you couldn't homeschool.
Addendum: I do realize that some people are unable to homeschool because they are required to work long hours and need the childcare provided by school. I want to be clear that I'm not referring to being unable to homeschool for such reasons. I just wanted to point out that any parent who really wants to, has the ability to homeschool in terms of patience and qualifications.
Showing posts with label homeschool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeschool. Show all posts
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Monday, March 28, 2016
One year down!
Last week we completed our required number of instructional days for homeschooling. We started at the beginning of last summer and took several breaks throughout the year so we're finishing our school year about 2 months ahead of the local schools. I don't plan on stopping the learning, but I will probably be a bit more relaxed about it for the next couple of months since I don't have to stress over fitting in the required days before the end of the year. It is a good feeling.
Now that I have one year of homeschooling under my belt, I can reflect on what I've learned. I've learned a lot- maybe even more than the kids did!
1) I learned that it's OK to change course and adapt as needed. I started the year nervous and I decided to buy a boxed curriculum to guide me. I bought one called BookShark- the secular version of Sonlight, a respected curriculum that's been around for quite a while. It is a great program that provides a lot of guidance. Each week it outlined exactly what we should do for each subject- books to read, science experiments to conduct, worksheets to complete. It made me feel safe and secure. That was great for exactly 7 weeks.
Then, at week 7 we were supposed to read a book that the kids really didn't like. I really didn't like it. So, I picked out another classic children's book to read instead. This, then, impacted the worksheets and some of the other assignments we were supposed to do, so I changed those. I also decided that I didn't like the assigned history book, so I picked something else. The writing assignments were boring to my daughter, so I changed that to something she found more interesting. Soon, I found I wasn't really following the BookShark program at all. I was using the subjects and the amount of material to complete each day as a guide, but that was about it. I kept thinking we'd return to following BookShark eventually, but we never did.
BookShark is a great program and it's perfect for anyone who wants to be told what to do and needs some guidance in homeschooling their kids. I definitely needed that in the beginning. Eventually, though, it became too restrictive for us. One of the huge benefits of homeschooling is the ability to tailor the curriculum to your child's ability and interests. If you use a boxed curriculum and follow it exactly, you lose that ability to a great extent.
2) Homeschooling does not need to look like school. In fact, it's usually better when it doesn't. Just because it doesn't look like school, doesn't mean it's not educational. When we first started the year, I thought school days had to look like, well, school. I set up a classroom in our house with desks, a whiteboard, a map of the world, etc. Soon, though, we were taking nature hikes and I realized the kids were learning more on those hikes by observing bugs, plants, and animals (and sometimes looking them up on my phone to get more information) than they were learning sitting in our classroom reading a science book. I even started to see learning taking place while they were playing video games or Minecraft. My 5 year old son started to learn fractions while playing Pikmin 3 on the Wii U. My 7 year old daughter greatly improved her spelling, reading, and typing skills playing Minecraft with other kids through GamED Academy. She also took some courses through GamED where she'd do a weekly learn and then a related build activity. The build activities helped to really cement what she'd learned. Minecraft, I discovered, can be a great tool for learning.
3) The relationship is more important than the lesson. Or, maybe the relationship is the lesson some days. What I mean is that sometimes we hit a brick wall. My kids couldn't sit still, didn't feel like learning what I had planned, or they just struggled to complete an assignment. At first, I felt like I had to force them to sit still, pay attention, and learn. After all, in regular school they'd have to do that, wouldn't they? I quickly learned that I could force them to sort of sit still and be quiet, but you can't really force someone to pay attention or to learn. Some days, it just wasn't worth the fight. It wasn't worth hurting our relationship. Some days it made sense to focus more on our relationship and doing things we enjoyed doing together. Usually, if I let go of a difficult subject and returned to it in a few hours or the next day, things went much better. Some days, my kids just weren't in the mood to concentrate on math and that was ok. Some may disagree and say that, as adults, we have to learn to do onerous work even when we're not in the mood. I agree. As adults, however, we do those onerous tasks because we see the ultimate value in doing them (even if that's just that we get to keep our job). Kids don't have that same type of view of the long-term reward. It is a lesson they'll learn over time, but elementary age is not the time. Learning happens much faster and is much more joyful when kids are in the right frame of mind to accomplish it.
4) I don't want to do this alone. Maybe I could do this alone, but I can definitely do it better with others. This year, I've joined several different homeschool groups in the area. We've participated in group field trips, playdates, and various homeschool classes. It is more fun for all of us to share these activities. Next year, I'm going to enroll them in a cottage school one day a week. A cottage school is a non-accredited school where homeschooled kids can take classes to enrich and supplement what they are doing at home. So, one day a week my kids will take classes in art, literature, Spanish, and science. One day a week, I'll have some free time to run errands without kids, go to appointments for myself, etc. I think they'll enjoy the time with other kids and I'll enjoy a little time alone.
5) This is a journey. I don't know exactly where it will lead. I'm taking it one year and one day at a time. For now, homeschooling is working for us. My kids love it, I'm enjoying it. I had them tested by a friend who teaches in the graduate school of education at a local university and she said they are thriving. They're both above grade level in reading and math. It is a good fit for them. People often ask me how long I'm going to homeschool or if we'll homeschool through high school. I don't know. I'm going to take it one year at a time. If it keeps working for our family, we'll continue. If it doesn't, we'll explore other options.
Now that I have one year of homeschooling under my belt, I can reflect on what I've learned. I've learned a lot- maybe even more than the kids did!
1) I learned that it's OK to change course and adapt as needed. I started the year nervous and I decided to buy a boxed curriculum to guide me. I bought one called BookShark- the secular version of Sonlight, a respected curriculum that's been around for quite a while. It is a great program that provides a lot of guidance. Each week it outlined exactly what we should do for each subject- books to read, science experiments to conduct, worksheets to complete. It made me feel safe and secure. That was great for exactly 7 weeks.
Then, at week 7 we were supposed to read a book that the kids really didn't like. I really didn't like it. So, I picked out another classic children's book to read instead. This, then, impacted the worksheets and some of the other assignments we were supposed to do, so I changed those. I also decided that I didn't like the assigned history book, so I picked something else. The writing assignments were boring to my daughter, so I changed that to something she found more interesting. Soon, I found I wasn't really following the BookShark program at all. I was using the subjects and the amount of material to complete each day as a guide, but that was about it. I kept thinking we'd return to following BookShark eventually, but we never did.
BookShark is a great program and it's perfect for anyone who wants to be told what to do and needs some guidance in homeschooling their kids. I definitely needed that in the beginning. Eventually, though, it became too restrictive for us. One of the huge benefits of homeschooling is the ability to tailor the curriculum to your child's ability and interests. If you use a boxed curriculum and follow it exactly, you lose that ability to a great extent.
2) Homeschooling does not need to look like school. In fact, it's usually better when it doesn't. Just because it doesn't look like school, doesn't mean it's not educational. When we first started the year, I thought school days had to look like, well, school. I set up a classroom in our house with desks, a whiteboard, a map of the world, etc. Soon, though, we were taking nature hikes and I realized the kids were learning more on those hikes by observing bugs, plants, and animals (and sometimes looking them up on my phone to get more information) than they were learning sitting in our classroom reading a science book. I even started to see learning taking place while they were playing video games or Minecraft. My 5 year old son started to learn fractions while playing Pikmin 3 on the Wii U. My 7 year old daughter greatly improved her spelling, reading, and typing skills playing Minecraft with other kids through GamED Academy. She also took some courses through GamED where she'd do a weekly learn and then a related build activity. The build activities helped to really cement what she'd learned. Minecraft, I discovered, can be a great tool for learning.
3) The relationship is more important than the lesson. Or, maybe the relationship is the lesson some days. What I mean is that sometimes we hit a brick wall. My kids couldn't sit still, didn't feel like learning what I had planned, or they just struggled to complete an assignment. At first, I felt like I had to force them to sit still, pay attention, and learn. After all, in regular school they'd have to do that, wouldn't they? I quickly learned that I could force them to sort of sit still and be quiet, but you can't really force someone to pay attention or to learn. Some days, it just wasn't worth the fight. It wasn't worth hurting our relationship. Some days it made sense to focus more on our relationship and doing things we enjoyed doing together. Usually, if I let go of a difficult subject and returned to it in a few hours or the next day, things went much better. Some days, my kids just weren't in the mood to concentrate on math and that was ok. Some may disagree and say that, as adults, we have to learn to do onerous work even when we're not in the mood. I agree. As adults, however, we do those onerous tasks because we see the ultimate value in doing them (even if that's just that we get to keep our job). Kids don't have that same type of view of the long-term reward. It is a lesson they'll learn over time, but elementary age is not the time. Learning happens much faster and is much more joyful when kids are in the right frame of mind to accomplish it.
4) I don't want to do this alone. Maybe I could do this alone, but I can definitely do it better with others. This year, I've joined several different homeschool groups in the area. We've participated in group field trips, playdates, and various homeschool classes. It is more fun for all of us to share these activities. Next year, I'm going to enroll them in a cottage school one day a week. A cottage school is a non-accredited school where homeschooled kids can take classes to enrich and supplement what they are doing at home. So, one day a week my kids will take classes in art, literature, Spanish, and science. One day a week, I'll have some free time to run errands without kids, go to appointments for myself, etc. I think they'll enjoy the time with other kids and I'll enjoy a little time alone.
5) This is a journey. I don't know exactly where it will lead. I'm taking it one year and one day at a time. For now, homeschooling is working for us. My kids love it, I'm enjoying it. I had them tested by a friend who teaches in the graduate school of education at a local university and she said they are thriving. They're both above grade level in reading and math. It is a good fit for them. People often ask me how long I'm going to homeschool or if we'll homeschool through high school. I don't know. I'm going to take it one year at a time. If it keeps working for our family, we'll continue. If it doesn't, we'll explore other options.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
The Dark Side
Most of my posts so far have been about how great homeschooling is and how much I love teaching my children, blah, blah, blah. They may border on pollyannaish. Well, today is a different kind of post. Today I will be perfectly honest about the other side of teaching your own kids. It is not all fun and games. Some days just suck. Today (and maybe yesterday too) was that kind of day.
People often tell me that they could never homeschool their kids because they don't have that kind of patience. They tell me they couldn't handle being home with their kids all day long and trying to teach them. They tell me I must be so patient and good with kids. Honestly, I don't think I'm any different than most moms. I'm no more or less patient. I, too, have days when I wouldn't win any parenting awards. I am working continually on improving my patience, trying to respond with love and trying to respond calmly to my children. But it is a work in process.
Since I homeschool, I really don't get a break from my "job". I don't get vacations, I don't get weekends, and I don't get lunch breaks. I am pretty much with my kids 24/7/365 other than the occasional date night or girl's night out. Usually, this is ok. It allows for lots of bonding and I can really get to know and understand my kids. Some days, though, I just need a break. Today I actually considered putting them back in school so I could wave goodbye to them in the morning and have 7 kid-free hours! It was just that kind of day.
Going back to homeschooling after Christmas break has been hard for both me and the kids. I got used to having my husband home to help out with the kids as needed. It was great to tag out now and then so I could run an errand alone or just have a mental break. They got used to having him home to play with them and do things for them if I was busy. I dreaded his return to work on the Monday after New Year's. Also, the kids had a long break from more formal school and we gave them ample (too much?) time to play video games over the break. They've struggled with focusing on school work and reducing the amount of video games they play. I'm also having a hard time getting back into the routine of going to bed at a decent hour and waking up at 6:30 so I can be ready to face the day by the time the kids wake up around 8:00.
This morning I got up at 7:00 after snoozing my alarm a few times. I was feeling sore and tired after going ice skating with my daughter the night before (my first time ice skating in about 15 years) and staying up too late watching a movie with my husband after we got the kids in bed. I managed to get showered, get dressed, and make the bed before the kids got up at 8:00. Breakfast was ok except both kids seemed sullen and were disappointed that the doughnuts we had yesterday (as a special treat) were all gone. Then, my son asked if he could play with his iPad. When I told him that today was a school day and he could play with it after 3:00, he started wallowing on the floor and whining and saying that he hates school and school days.
My son finally got over his temper tantrum and we went upstairs to start school. He was pretty cooperative and started in on his first activity, building mosaic pictures of fish with geometric shaped stickers (a great fine motor activity for a 5 year old). My daughter, however, had trouble settling into any activity that I felt was appropriately educational for a 7 year old. She rejected all of the things I had planned for her. She wanted to make origami animals with a book we have. I wasn't thrilled with her choice, but I needed her to be occupied while I worked with my son, so I let it go. I figured she'd do something else later. Then, as I was doing math with my son, my daughter kept interrupting by complaining that she couldn't do the origami and needed my help. Can you understand my irritation?
The day pretty much went on like that with times of learning peppered with more yelling from me than I usually do in a week or so. I was irritated with their behavior and even more irritated and disappointed in myself for my behavior. After lunch, we went to a homeschool board game playdate at the library. I thought this would be a much needed break for all of us. I thought this would be a great opportunity for the kids to meet some new friends. As it turns out, they only wanted to play with each other and didn't really seem interested in the other kids. Less than an hour into it, they were screaming at each other over the game they were playing. I encouraged them to play with the other kids, but they weren't interested in what they were playing and they kept saying they wanted to go pick out library books and go home. I was defeated so we checked out a few books and left.
I am assuming there is a lesson in this. I try to always find the learning in bad situations. I think it may be that I need to stop pushing my agenda on them so much. I need to relax a bit and trust the process. If my daughter wants to do origami instead of math, maybe I should go with that and see it as a lesson in geometry and art. If they aren't able to settle down and concentrate on school, maybe I need to let them take a break and exercise for a while. I can't force them to make new friends. I can only offer opportunities.
I also think I need to focus more on my well-being. If I'm not doing well, our whole day tends to be off. My frame of mind and my attitude tends to influence them. Often it seems that the more I yell, the more they misbehave and fight with each other, possibly because my irritation stresses them and they act out (or maybe they find my antics amusing!). I need to get to bed earlier and be sure that I start the day well rested. I need to plan some time for exercise and relaxation or reading- possibly in the mornings before they get out of bed. It's not easy to juggle, but, as they say in the airplane safety speeches, I need to put my oxygen mask on first. Only then can I assist my children.
People often tell me that they could never homeschool their kids because they don't have that kind of patience. They tell me they couldn't handle being home with their kids all day long and trying to teach them. They tell me I must be so patient and good with kids. Honestly, I don't think I'm any different than most moms. I'm no more or less patient. I, too, have days when I wouldn't win any parenting awards. I am working continually on improving my patience, trying to respond with love and trying to respond calmly to my children. But it is a work in process.
Since I homeschool, I really don't get a break from my "job". I don't get vacations, I don't get weekends, and I don't get lunch breaks. I am pretty much with my kids 24/7/365 other than the occasional date night or girl's night out. Usually, this is ok. It allows for lots of bonding and I can really get to know and understand my kids. Some days, though, I just need a break. Today I actually considered putting them back in school so I could wave goodbye to them in the morning and have 7 kid-free hours! It was just that kind of day.
Going back to homeschooling after Christmas break has been hard for both me and the kids. I got used to having my husband home to help out with the kids as needed. It was great to tag out now and then so I could run an errand alone or just have a mental break. They got used to having him home to play with them and do things for them if I was busy. I dreaded his return to work on the Monday after New Year's. Also, the kids had a long break from more formal school and we gave them ample (too much?) time to play video games over the break. They've struggled with focusing on school work and reducing the amount of video games they play. I'm also having a hard time getting back into the routine of going to bed at a decent hour and waking up at 6:30 so I can be ready to face the day by the time the kids wake up around 8:00.
This morning I got up at 7:00 after snoozing my alarm a few times. I was feeling sore and tired after going ice skating with my daughter the night before (my first time ice skating in about 15 years) and staying up too late watching a movie with my husband after we got the kids in bed. I managed to get showered, get dressed, and make the bed before the kids got up at 8:00. Breakfast was ok except both kids seemed sullen and were disappointed that the doughnuts we had yesterday (as a special treat) were all gone. Then, my son asked if he could play with his iPad. When I told him that today was a school day and he could play with it after 3:00, he started wallowing on the floor and whining and saying that he hates school and school days.
My son finally got over his temper tantrum and we went upstairs to start school. He was pretty cooperative and started in on his first activity, building mosaic pictures of fish with geometric shaped stickers (a great fine motor activity for a 5 year old). My daughter, however, had trouble settling into any activity that I felt was appropriately educational for a 7 year old. She rejected all of the things I had planned for her. She wanted to make origami animals with a book we have. I wasn't thrilled with her choice, but I needed her to be occupied while I worked with my son, so I let it go. I figured she'd do something else later. Then, as I was doing math with my son, my daughter kept interrupting by complaining that she couldn't do the origami and needed my help. Can you understand my irritation?
The day pretty much went on like that with times of learning peppered with more yelling from me than I usually do in a week or so. I was irritated with their behavior and even more irritated and disappointed in myself for my behavior. After lunch, we went to a homeschool board game playdate at the library. I thought this would be a much needed break for all of us. I thought this would be a great opportunity for the kids to meet some new friends. As it turns out, they only wanted to play with each other and didn't really seem interested in the other kids. Less than an hour into it, they were screaming at each other over the game they were playing. I encouraged them to play with the other kids, but they weren't interested in what they were playing and they kept saying they wanted to go pick out library books and go home. I was defeated so we checked out a few books and left.
I am assuming there is a lesson in this. I try to always find the learning in bad situations. I think it may be that I need to stop pushing my agenda on them so much. I need to relax a bit and trust the process. If my daughter wants to do origami instead of math, maybe I should go with that and see it as a lesson in geometry and art. If they aren't able to settle down and concentrate on school, maybe I need to let them take a break and exercise for a while. I can't force them to make new friends. I can only offer opportunities.
I also think I need to focus more on my well-being. If I'm not doing well, our whole day tends to be off. My frame of mind and my attitude tends to influence them. Often it seems that the more I yell, the more they misbehave and fight with each other, possibly because my irritation stresses them and they act out (or maybe they find my antics amusing!). I need to get to bed earlier and be sure that I start the day well rested. I need to plan some time for exercise and relaxation or reading- possibly in the mornings before they get out of bed. It's not easy to juggle, but, as they say in the airplane safety speeches, I need to put my oxygen mask on first. Only then can I assist my children.
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